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Rizla's Automatic Rolling Box
"The handiest of the handy for RYO to go"

   Forget about it! Anyone can make a mistake. A couple of summers ago, I was camping by a lake in South Central Alaska, perfectly happy with injecting my tobacco into filtered tubes with my Supermatic when all of a sudden comes along this scruffy looking dude who wants to bum a cigarette and play my guitar. I rolled him a smoke (injected him one actually) and declined on the guitar sharing. I would rather share my wife than my guitar. (I have several guitars and no current wives.)  He looked at me kinda funny with what I thought, at first, was amazement at my self-centered audacity (about the guitar). I figured he assumed because he and I both had long hair and ponytails, that me like he, were part of that "what's yours is mine" dogma that permeates the fortunate freer elements of our society. As I started to explain my reluctance to share my beloved instrument (guilt is genetic with me), he stood up, approached me and began ogling my Supermatic. "Wha is dat ting," he says, in an almost perfect mimic of Steve Martin's famous SNL impression of the same name. I had to laugh and realized I was dealing with a man with wit and wits alike. I showed him the Supermatic and rolled another smoke to demonstrate its technological prowess whereupon, he proceeded to take a little silver box out of his grubby fatigue jacket and hand it to me. "Whyntcha try thisin."  So I did and it didn't work worth a damn, it certainly wasn't what I would call automatic, and I spilled tobacco all over everything just trying to fill it. So I gave up, having immediately forged in my mind for all time, the opinion that the Rizla Automatic Rolling Box was just another hoax perpetrated by the French on unsuspecting American liberals. Kinda like Jacques Cousteau. Except it was made in the UK, of course.

   Well about two weeks ago I received, in response to some crack I must have made during one anti-anti-smoking discussion or another that I tend to have and forget about, a Rizla Automatic Rolling Box. I guess my low opinion of such inferior products with completely overstated names crept out somewhere along the conversation line. Well, it wouldn't hurt to try it once more on the way to the Dempsey Dumpsters out back. So I did. But first I read the simple, clever little instructions on the box it came in. (The scruffy dude didn't have the box - or socks, for that matter.) Well to my surprise, it did in fact work, and I rolled about a half dozen more smokes just to verify that this unexpected turn of events was, indeed, reality. So there I stood, feeling guilty ever once again, and as I am going back into the house, having decided, after all, to keep this little silver treasure, my reflection in the rear entrance window was unmistakable. A scruffy looking dude, in cutoffs and dirty sneakers with no socks, no shave and no possible excuse to be out in even the semi-public environment of the trash suppository . . . or is it depository. But it was Saturday, after all. Stupid - Stupid Guilt!

   And there is ONE more thing. Everytime my spell checker gets to the word Supermatic, a word I seem to use frequently of late, it doesn't recognize the word and gives me, as an alternate, the word Spermatic. I don't mind so much as I know what I mean, but I am not familiar with the word Spermatic and my partner, Linda, wants to know where she can get one. Who does she see about this? Any ideas?

   Now, after all of that neuronic catharsis, the little silver box has my unreserved recommendation, and here are the instructions. It is amazing that someone thought to put them on the box.

1. Open the lid and fill the trough of the band with tobacco.
For economy and efficiency start by using just enough to fill the trough.
Too much makes the machine difficult to operate.

2. Moisten the gum on a rolling paper and place this on the band with the gummed edges uppermost and the lower edge behind the tobacco.

3. Start closing the lid in order to engage the paper in the band and then complete this movement, closing the box with a slow uniform pressure on both sides of the lid. The paper and tobacco will then become perfectly rolled and will appear through the closed lid.

Spermatic #1&2 Spermatic #3
It is important to note that this machine
takes papers no wider than *70 mm!
(*Approx 2.75")

EDITOR'S NOTE: These reviews are solely for the convenience of people of legal age who already smoke, are trying to cut down on smoking, wish to spend less money on their smoking, want to roll their own cigarettes from high quality tobacco, and, in general, wish to have a far more satisfying, and economical smoking experience when compared with smoking pre-manufactured cigarettes. We, in no way, encourage people to smoke. Further, we prescribe to a sane, more logical approach to smoking that involves common sense as to quantity coupled with a strong desire to manage the habit until it becomes an occasional, freely chosen, diversion, that can be fully enjoyed with minimal health risks. Finally, we strongly encourage those who do smoke to take it outdoors, or to appropriate environments where tobacco can be enjoyed away from those who do not smoke, most especially children.  We do not sell tobacco or related products from this site; We distribute information about our perceptions of the quality of what is available and where it can be obtained. If you are under 18,  it is illegal to buy tobacco and you should immediately exit this site. If you do not smoke, it would seem illogical to start.

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1999 The Andromedan Design Company
A Publication of
The Andromedan Design Company